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Tales of the River lek (2)
Clouding the mind
With a quiet thread of guilt, I mounted my bicycle.
When I reached the dike, the wind was already roaring. At first, I could barely climb the slope. The gusts pressed against me, firm and unyielding, as though the river itself had risen to meet me, though not with an easy greeting.
So you are returning, the river seemed to say. It has been a while. Let us see if you are truly committed, it murmured through the rushing air. At that moment I knew this would not be an easy meeting. Today, I would have to work for it.
When I arrived, the wind moved fiercely across the open land, and grey clouds hurried through the sky as though the day itself were restless. Walking down toward the water, I noticed a small gathering of Common Goldeneye ducks. They were circling one another on the surface in a quiet, intricate choreography, their movements delicate against the rough weather.
I paused. For a moment, it felt as though the river was inviting me to linger in that small theatre of life. Yet something in me sensed that this was not where my attention belonged today. As I turned, something else caught my eye. A small wooden sign stood near the path, its surface softened by years of rain and sun. I was surprised I had not noticed it before. The words were simple:
Walking along the Lek?
Please take a moment to clean as you go.
I smiled to myself. Perhaps, I thought, another day I should walk the full length of the riverbank, gathering what has been left behind. A quiet way of returning something to a place that is willing to meet me.
When I finally reached my sitting place, the water was restless. The wind brushed the river, carrying motion to every corner. Small ripples traveled endlessly across the river’s skin, forming and dissolving like my thoughts that refused to settle.
Then I noticed a small piece of plastic drifting where the water had grown momentarily still. Without thinking, I reached down and lifted it from the river. A small gesture. A few raindrops landed softly on my face. I received them as a quiet acknowledgment.
Because both the river and my own mind seemed unsettled, I spread out my yoga mat and sat down. Closing my eyes, I listened. Inside, my thoughts moved like the wind—quick and restless. It surprised me how difficult it felt to arrive fully in this moment.
A quiet sadness rose in me. Why is it harder today to connect? As I sat with the question, something subtle revealed itself. Perhaps I had come here with an unspoken hope. A quiet desire for something to happen. For a moment of clarity, depth, or meaning. Perhaps I had come looking for an experience.
And in that instant of recognition, waves suddenly slapped against the riverbank beside me. The sound was sharp enough to startle me. Yet it felt unmistakably like an answer.
When I opened my eyes again, another piece of plastic drifted past. This time I stepped into the river with my rain boots to retrieve it. The water rushed in immediately. Cold flooded my boots. I looked down, surprised, wondering why they had begun to leak.
And then something else revealed itself.
Along the entire edge of the riverbank, from left to right, debris had gathered. Twigs, fragments, and small forgotten remnants carried by the current had been laid down like a rough necklace along the shore. Everywhere. Except for the small clearing around the place where I had been sitting.
When I finally walked back toward my bicycle, my socks soaked and cold, the river’s message had become clear.
"Your longing moves through your mind the way plastic moves through my currents, clouding the mind as it drifts, the river seemed to say. When you arrive searching for an experience, you are already elsewhere. And when you are elsewhere, you cannot truly meet what is here. Let the wanting sink and settle. Like silt returning to the quiet bed of the water. Only then can the current run clear between us, warm and untroubled."


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